Can you set healthy boundaries in your life?

The answer to this question is neither simple nor trivial. Setting boundaries is extremely important if you want to live a truly healthy and happy life. Leaving the dictates of your environment will be like liberation for you. So how to start setting healthy boundaries?

What exactly are healthy boundaries?

Before we consider how each of us can introduce the element of setting boundaries into our lives, we should define what we mean by boundaries. Well, the term limits have both a literal and metaphorical dimension. It may be a physical space that you do not allow other people to cross. However, it is also an emotional space that should be subject only to you. However, it is essential to remember that personal boundaries do not mean we can undermine someone's views, practices, or customs. It's not a top-down acknowledgment that you're just right. When taking care of your boundaries, remember to respect others.

How do you know what your limits are? You can do a few things to become aware of your limits. The first is to consider what values you follow or want to follow. You can think them out carefully or just write them down on a piece of paper. This exercise is essential because no one should force you to act against yourself. Sometimes, however, we realize it only after the fact. The second crucial thing is recognizing which other people's behaviors affect you negatively. Only in this way can you try not to experience them.

How to set boundaries?

Setting boundaries is very difficult because it requires assertiveness. However, it can be learned, which I recommend - I guarantee you will feel much better. Here are some of my pieces of advice on how to set boundaries:

• Express your expectations clearly and honestly without demeaning others.

This point is an absolute base. If people around you don't know your limits and don't know that you're uncomfortable, how will they start paying attention? Learn to be clear about your physical and emotional limits.

E.g.

If someone in your group kisses you on the cheek as a greeting and you feel uncomfortable, then just let them know.

We all know someone with a very sarcastic sense of humor. If you are not amused by the remarks about you, for whatever reason, you have the right to say that they upset you.

It is very important that this conversation takes place in private. Otherwise, we may embarrass that person and make them sad.

• Be consistent - enforce your boundaries.

You will undoubtedly meet people who will not be helped by clear information about your boundaries. They may ignore it on purpose, or they may be simply forgetful. Your role is to remind them of these boundaries. If they repeatedly break them, despite your requests and signals you send, react.

E.g.

Let's go back to the cheek-kissing example. If the person continues to greet you like that after the feedback, remind them of your boundary. If that doesn't help, don't be passive - the next time you greet her, just move away or stop her with a hand gesture.

There is nothing to cheat yourself. You will definitely come across people who say, "don't exaggerate" or "but that's how I am." Your role is to guard your borders.

• Take care of your body and mind.

The stronger you feel, the easier it will be for you to stay within your limits. Therefore, you should also have set lines that should not be exceeded - e.g., the number of days without vacation, the amount of unhealthy food or coffee drunk. It all depends on what causes you fatigue, poor health, or poor mood. Take care of yourself as you would for the most precious person.

What about people who have no intention of respecting my boundaries?

The decision is always yours, so I wouldn't want you to make hasty judgments. However, I want to share my thoughts that come from my experiences. Unfortunately, some people just don't get the information. These are unhappy people who believe that everyone must follow the same behavior because "that's life." Yes, many things happen outside of us, but we create our own lives. People in this category are toxic to me; as you know, you must avoid toxic relationships.

Your world will surely change if you learn to set boundaries. Let your heart tell you what you need and what makes you feel bad. Then, gather this knowledge and get to work!

KaMa